TALES OF SHAKESPEARE, PEANUT BUTTER AND THE LITTLE FAT MAN
 
It was over 300 miles to Chicago.  We had a full tank of gas.  Plenty of munchies and drinks.
It was getting dark.  And I forgot to remove my sunglasses.
 
So began our journey to see the little fat man (Mary Anna's title for William Shatner)
and assorted Klingons, Cardassians and a funny Englishman.
 
Friday, our warp engines were fired up and so were we.  After a trip to the local grocery store for drinks, lunch meat, peanut butter, fruit and ice, we entered the convention, not knowing who may or may not be there.  Slanted Fedora (as you may know from Kathi's email) has been in the middle of some shady dealings as of late.  Some of their guests have been cancelled in previous hosws and it hasn't been clear if they cancelled themselves or Dave Scott did it.  So we were all crossing our fingers.
 
The dealer's room was decent, and some deals were to be had.  The Paramount Police were out in full force.  One dealer was completely shut down.  He was selling bathrobes with different Star Trek related logos on them.  This is the new World Order, kids.  We had better get used to it.
 
Various "surprise" guests spoke on Friday (and Saturday and Sunday).  Among them were Herb Jefferson from Battlestar Galactica, France Nuyen from the Elaan of Troyius episode of Original Trek; Barbara Luna from "Mirror, Mirror" (The Captain's Woman); Michael Forest from "Who Mourns for Adonis"; the guy who played the Ming type, Dr. Chaotica from Voyager (he's English so it's OK), and an actor named Michael Dante who was in "Friday's Child" (the one with Julie Newmar).
 
The Friday night theatre featured Jeffrey Combs, Marc Alaimo and Casey Biggs.  They performed scenes, sonnets and some other stuff from Shakespeare.  It was well done, but a
little Shakespeare goes a long way with me.  And this was a little long.
 
Saturday started off better.  There were two talks/q&as.  One was the trio from the night before, very funny guys and very serious about their craft.  Next up was J. G. Hertzler and Robert O'Reilly.  They worked like a comedy team.  They were serious too, up to a point.  Remind me and I will tell you about Robert and his triplets.
 
The Saturday night theatre wasn't as soon as Friday's.  But J.G.'s and Robert's French accents were funny to hear and Garret Wang's East Indian (or was it Apu from the Simpson?) was the highlight.
 
The Klingon karaoke was a lot of fun.  J. G. and Robert joned fans onstage for singing, shouting and drinking.  Mostly they danced about, did bits, flirted with the female singers and drank--the two-fisted kind that is usually found in Tom Waits' songs.  Kathi went up first.  I cannot say much about it.  When you see the pictures.  I GOT A BIG HUG FROM J.G. AND NOBODY GOT A PICTURE OF IT!!! Wah... (KB)  I got up next and impressed every drunk, tramp and half the Klingons.  Others got to sing 3 or 4 times, we did not get another chance.  It was a plot against us, I say!!  The blonde chick with no underwear captured J.G.'s attention and he was still with her the next morning, looking like hell warmed over - KB.
 
Sunday!  The captain is in the house!  William Shatner was charming, sweet and very funny.  He even had a woman come up on stage for a very long hug.  For her birthday!  We all have heard stories about Bill.  But, his new wife evidently has had a calming effect on him.
 
Dominic Keating was up next.  He was funnier than Shatner.  You would not believe how funny he was, based on what you have seen of him on Enterprise.
 
The convention was winding down.  But not before Dave Scott hit us with a surprise we had been dreading all weekend.  We were promised a signed picture of Ricardo Montalban as Khan, and a "live" phone talk with him.  What we got was no interview and only 110 pictures for 500 fans.  We were given three choices:  stand in line and try to get one of the 110 signed pictures (somehow Mary Anna did this!)  Amazing!!
 
You could get in line and give your address and hopefully get one sent to you within 30 days.  You also got a freebie signed photo of some other star for your trouble.
 
Or you could get in line and trade your Montalban for another star.  Terry went for a Jeri Ryan.  Kathi got a Colm Meny and I am waiting by the mailbox.  Dave gave a few vague reasons for this, BUT, we think that he just hasn't paid Montalban for the autograph pictures yet.  Since everybody who is getting one in the mail, had to give Dave his $6 and also the people who got one of the 110 had to cough up the $6, now he probably has enough $$ to complete the deal and get the rest of the pictures.
 
Anyway, we had fun.  Except for the weirdness at the end and a baseball player dying in Chicago while we were there, we had a great time.  Now it is time to catch some movies!!!
 
Jeff Bruce  (also known as Soulman-KB)
 
 

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